Captain Sweatpants!


It has happened! Oh, it has happened. Mighty lord it has happened! I was worried that it would happen, but, it actually happened. Simon told me not to mess with the “Jargons”, but I ignored him. Jargons are there for a reason, after all. And look at me now, Sweet mother of Honey Comb Maze, I am transformed, for real, now. I am a Dog. Not a macho, Dober man or Siberian husky, but I am trapped in a body of a cute little pug! A PUG! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I am a badass 30 year old Business Tycoon who earns more than 20, 00,000 INR ($31000) per month but now I am a pug. A fucking pug who only knows how to stick its tongue out and walk weirdly. A pug that cannot even walk straight. All these 15 years’ worth of odd jobs and difficult life for this?

I agree I was arrogant and mean. Okay, I used to look down upon people as well because simply, I am better than them! Only, if I had known that it would turn me into a pug one day, I would not have done that. Those Jargons. I think this is one of those parallel universes that they always talk about, where things are in opposite to than our universe. But can that mean, does that mean there’s a Pug handling my multi-dollar business?? WHAT?

I don’t know if dogs can have heart attacks, because I swear, I would have died of one right now if that was possible. Now, I am tied to a leash and a fat man with zero interest in fitness is walking me down an average neighborhood. The kind that I use to deliver newspapers at, during my high school. I know that he is not interested in fitness because he is walking very slowly and complaining to someone on the phone that he has to walk the adopted dog today and he just never feels like getting out of the couch.

I was a very fit human, maybe that means I can be one of those dogs with a six-pack, but, I am a pug! Lord, you should have had at least made me a Labrador. Wait, what? Adopted? I am an adopted dog, which means somebody abandoned me and left me to die in the cold without looking back? That’s just so sad. On one hand, I have a life where people are dying to spend a few minutes with me, girls want to marry me and everyone feels prestigious to be associated with me and on the other, I am a dog with no owner.

Damn World, Dogs have feelings too!

I will be the badass pug with six packs and military training; I would be the cool pug who knows stuff. Dammit, I am Captain Sweatpants!


Published by: kritiraitiwari

A writer, singer and a traveler. I listen to good music, watch good movies and read good books. I like taking long walks on beaches, wearing Dresses (with sneakers) and listening to stories of people. I am The Girl with larger than life dreams with a fetish for eye masks! Call me weird, yeah. You should really follow me Instagram @kritiraitiwari Twitter @kritiraitiwari

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